This past Thursday, May 13, 2010 our Sweet Grandma Reese passed away. My wonderful Sister Seka has been in Mendocino for over a month taking the best care ever of Grandma. Seka is such a loving and caring person and showed Grandma so much love to the very end. Jocie and I were heading up to see Grandma and support Seka in anyway possible when she passed. We came home on Friday night and I have just been struggling with losing everyone it seems. First Sherman passed a few years back, then Grandpa last year, and now Grandma. I feel Grandpa and Grandma were the foundation of our family, they held the pieces together I hope their passing doesn't change anything. I feel sort of lost now.
This has been a really hard time for me, I still haven't gotten over Sherman's death (for those that don't know that was my Step Dad). He helped raise me since I was 10 years old and I loved him very much, he was such a HUGE part of my life and sometimes the kids will do something and I just want to pick up the phone to call him and tell him about it but I can't!!!! When will my heart stop aching for him? 2 weeks ago I was finally able to put his picture out again, I couldn't have it out for the longest time but now I say good night to his picture every night.
Yesterday I went and used google to try and find some answers and needless to say that is just not the best idea to do, I found some scary stuff and never did get my answers I was looking for. Some many people believe in different things on what happens when you die and I wanted to find some answers so I can have something to hold onto knowing or believing in where my family members are that have passed. Are they in heaven? Are they no where waiting for Jesus, asleep? So many questions and not enough answers for me personally. I don't judge anyone for what they believe in but for me, I don't even know what I believe in.
Below are some pictures I took on the trip to the Coast this past week.
Here is the view from Grandma's house, so beautiful
Grandma's beautiful flowers, she always has the most amazing flowers
Jocie and Mariah playing in the yard
I love this picture, especially that I captured the bird flying by
This pathway goes down to a creek, when we lived with them we loved to walk down there and play
I made the sign for Grandpa and Grandma in High School when we lived in Fort Bragg, I felt so special when they hung it up
Stopping to stretch our legs along the way to the coast
Me and my Wonderful Sissy, Seka
Grandpa & Grandma's beautiful home
1 comment:
Hello my Dear Jennifer, I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. I have been praying for all of you during this time. It is not easy to lose someone you love. To let go of the physical, where we can see and touch them, and now only to have the memories. Thank God for the memories... and all the learned lessons and wisdom your grandmother, grandfather, and Sherman have left with you as their forever gift to you. To cherish it and to keep it alive by passing it on down to the new generations. This is also the time we wonder if we will ever see them again, and if they are in the right place. And a time to second guess your own faith. Honey, don't lose faith; you are a walking testimony of God's work in your life. God is only Good...all time! But we live in an un-perfect world with sin, sickness and death. In the mist of all this, remember Jesus came down to be with us, to save us, and to give us life after this world. All he asked was for us to believe; believe he loved us enough to die for our imperfection, our weakness, and our sinful desires. Remember the thief on the cross next to Jesus; he said to Jesus, “Remember me when you come into your kingdom” and Jesus said, “I assure you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” The thief knew who Jesus was; and was he a follower, probable not, was he a sinner to the end, I think so. And… he knew who Jesus was and he feared God. (Luke 23:40). At that very moment the thief had faith in who Jesus said he was. We have to believe God gives us every opportunity to believe in Him. Your family has planted lots of God/Jesus seeds and God knows the heart of our love ones. It only takes a breath, a thought to say yes I need you, I believe. And I do not believe there is a holding place… as Jesus told the thief, ‘Today you will be in Paradise” Eternity has not time, is now and forever. God is too big to even begin to imagine all He has in store for us. Take one day at a time turning to Him for strength and peace and how he can use you to tough others in your experiences.
I would love to get together with you someday soon, to give you some big overdue hugs and just to catch up. Miss you girl… With lots of love. Laura
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